Firstly, I am feeling really sorry again
Since I’m currently having days and days of holidays, I would assume that I will be having quite some subjects to write about, some of them may be dull and very specific to certain aspect
Please just BEAR WITH ME!
Haha
BTW, I think I ought to switch back to English once in a while
Before my English got completely rusted
Just read my previous blog entry again
And found there were quite a number of words typed wrongly T_T
Have to be more careful this + next time
And ya, typing English is so much faster as I don’t have to think about “han yu pin yin” like mandarin
Needless to say about Japanese
Took me such a long time to type the speaking test script out
But it is still very worthy
As it will remain there forever
Was discussing about blog writing with a friend
And she thinks that what she wrote before was childish
Well, we are not born mature!
When I look back at what I wrote in my wretch blog
I also feel that I was utterly childish back then
And it’s a disgrace that I can’t find that kind of feeling back
The feeling which I would spend the whole day
Keep correcting what I wrote until I considered it was a masterpiece before I had it posted
Though I didn’t do it for all entries
And I was much emotional
Now, maybe getting a little instrumental?
Circumstances are making us to be away from altruism?
Can’t we anymore have genuine feelings?
If you notice the way I structure a sentence is slightly awkward or different
It’s due to Japanese I guess
Sometimes they form sentences differently from how we form them in English or Chinese
Oh ya
Currently,
I’m trying to write more of my feelings/emotional stuffs using English
Although I am very sure that I will face a lot of problems in trying to do so
Have a real good sentence to share with you guys
“The apple doesn’t fall far from its tree”
It’s quite meaningful
Took it from the song “We Cry”, The Script
Well, it’s a rock emo song which sometimes I prefer
I like songs which reveal about the real situation of our society
I am not saying that lovey-dovey songs are dumb though
Just that they are showing all the good side only
Songs like “They don’t care about us”, “Sweetest Girl”, and “Where’s the love” are
meaningful and reflecting the other side of the society, maybe the side that we always try to ignore?
By now, if you are observant enough
I’m a person with no artistic genes who like to listen to songs
And I do know that people sometimes get bored when I keep discussing about this song
I like, that song I love, its’ dumb isn’t it?
Maybe when I’ve had enough of this corrupted society, I would stop sharing my sentiments on songs.
As sharing is no longer caring...
Next, it’s about something that I don’t feel right about
I don’t know since when, it’s hard to get a person to talk to
People seem to be busy in their own ways
Hard to get people dropping by on Facebook, or even in my blog, to leave a word to two. Sometimes I feel like talking to thin air. Obviously I am not saying I feel like talking to the wall, because even produces echo you see...
No matter what’s the reason people ain’t communicating with me or with the others, it’s not a good feeling.
And I know saying it out like this is like begging people to talk to me?
No, I’m not.
Because I can always talk to myself, read novels, watch drama
I just dislike this kind of situation
It’s more like you are bathing
And you know people are looking at you
And they don’t even make a sound
Isn’t it freaky?
People seem to be really lacking of the incentives to share
Dislike to share opinions, knowledge, feelings and happiness. But is completely happy to share their sadness...
Maybe you never notice this, but just think about it. It’s exactly like what happen in tutorials, even during SAM time! People seem to prefer to remain silent when questions are posted than attempting to answer it! That’s why I admire MYSELF, MOO and some others who attempted to answer in the class. Yaya, I know those who like to remain silent would say I feel shy and I am afraid that I will make mistakes, but acting like that would never bring you far, just so you know. We humans learn from mistakes, mistakes are the raw material for the product “success”...
Mistakes are meant to be made during practice, no matter how many mistakes you make, you don’t get any penalty, but you gain courage and knowledge!
I know completely well that some may be offended by what I said above
But this is WHAT I THINK, MY OWN OPINION, so if you unhappy with it, you can always attack me, you can raise objections, instead of hiding behind and start talking bad about me! I guess this sentence has offended more people
Btw, come to think of it. What I got from asking/answering questions in front of everyone are knowledge for everyone!, courage for myself and the great name of being KIASU!
Hah, there are always events that happened in my life which I think people are being absurd, and I did try to talk terms with them, obviously with no healthy results. And these events which I had or never will reveal here should be buried deep down in my heart (or rather brain), serving as some good reminder that I should always stay in the middle.
This leads to the topic of being KIASU. I know this will sound really bad again. But there are a lot of people who are in no position to judge me/the others. It’s exactly the same reasoning why we don’t have engineers being referees for football matchers, because they don’t understand or I shall say no prerequisites in judging?
What I’ve been doing, is to be honest with myself, my own feelings. And what I desire currently, is knowledge. I would be shocked if people start thinking, “See, he’s defending for himself again”. Again, who are you to judge me? I know writing all these out won’t make me feel happier, nor everyone who reads this. But keeping this to myself will just make me madder and madder, and I need some channels to vent this anger (or unhappiness).
Some long long time ago, I used to think Xinyi was very kiasu (everyone had their past, I hope if she ever finds out of this, she won’t be offended ). But when I was in Form 5, I noticed that I am in no position to judge her, because I was not as good as her, and before I ever reached her level, I would never be able to put myself in her shoes. How the hell am I going to know what she was thinking/problems she faced? Gotta admit that I was childish back then, we are all on this road to attain success in life, but we waste most of the time fighting unhealthily with the others, without even trying to understand what they actually feel.
Currently, to me, nobody is KIASU, because those who are termed being Kiasu are just those who are willing to put in more efforts. And though this is really harsh, I still have to say it. Those who say others are kiasu, are just being immature as instead of attempting to be better, they rather stand there, pointing at people saying that they are afraid to lose...
People always think that I am lying to them when I say I always watch TV (used to when I was in Form 5) or dramas, variety shows (currently my favourite!), sleep and don’t really study a lot. What do I gain from lying to you guys? Are you gonna study less just because I study less? You don’t! Because what I do is totally independent from what you do! And I’ve always tell people, attending classes, participating in classes are much useful than keeping mum throughout the hour and struggle to understand everything that’s written in the textbook by yourself. No matter what, I can’t control what people want to believe and what not to believe.
Everyone has their own goal, think of it as a 100m race, all runners try to get to the finishing line fast. So would we say Usain Bolt is the person who is the most kiasu in running in the world because he runs fastest? Isn’t it dumb to say so? Why don’t those who are always whining about people being kiasu stop doing so, and do some other productive things?
Just so you know for the second time, life, sometimes is not as competitive as a running contest, so as long as you can pass the finishing line, you win in the battle with yourself!
You know sometimes people try to avoid this kind of controversial issues, but staying away from them doesn’t mean they won’t happen. Why don’t we be mature and face it openly, that we all want to win, that we are being selfish sometimes, that we just want to be alone sometimes, that we dislike something, or that you really hate this post?! Haha
1. This post is slightly disoriented as I typed it at different times, with slightly different emotions
2. A thousand please don’t think or assume I was talking about “you”, I was saying something in general.
3. All opinions that I wrote are based on the experience that I accumulated since very long time ago, not entirely about my current life, so PLEASE DUN THINK TOO MUCH.
4. Currently, I cant be happier thx to the commencing of my holidays, nothing had happened recently that made me have those thoughts. Chill, people.
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